Sunday, November 18, 2012

Sorry I've Been MIA...I was in jail...

JUST KIDDING! :)  But that does remind me of a story...

Once upon a time, when Brian and I were fresh off the market, we visited his bro and sis in law up in the mountains.  The boys were spending the day snowboarding, while the girls stayed behind to eat and watch TV tend to the chores. It was a nice relaxing day, and we were expecting our snow bunnies slope studs to get home around 8 with a hot dinner waiting for them.  Well, 8:30 rolled around and I had been trying to call Brian to see where they were, but never got an answer.  Finally, around 9, his brother called me.  That's weird. 

Hey Jess.

Hey.  What's up?  Where are you guys?

Well...something happened.

What do you mean?  Is everything okay?

It's Brian...

<insert heart pounding>Okay, tell me!

We're waiting for the cops to arrive.

WHAT!!??  How?  Why?  What did he do?

Well, it's stupid, really.  We stopped at a gas station to grab some snacks and hot chocolate for the drive.  Brian grabbed a Snickers bar, some chips, beef jerky.  Then, he went to get his hot chocolate.  He couldn't carry it all, so he stuck the Snickers bar in his back pocket.  He carried everything up to the cash register, paid for it, and as we were walking out the door, the crazy old man yelled, "Stop!  Did you plan on paying for that or were you just going to steal it?"  Brian said that it was a mistake, but the stupid old man said he was calling the cops to clear things up.  We might have to stay here tonight.

<tears in my eyes>What!  Oh my gosh!  This can't be happening!  That's so dumb!  He was going to pay for it, right?  <images of our life together halted.  Am I going to have to do conjugal visits for the next 8-10 years?  We just got married!>

........In walks Brian and his brother, grinning from ear to ear...... 'GOT YA!'

YOU JERKS!  I ALMOST HAD A HEART ATTACK!  <walk up to Brian>  *SMACK!*  RIGHT ON THE FACE!  How could you do this to me?!

Then, I ran into the bathroom and cried.  Out of relief, anger, and embarrassment.  For smacking the crap out of my new husband in front of his brother and wife.

And that was the highlight of winter 2006.

No comments:

Post a Comment