Tomorrow is the day I go back to work. I am soooo sad. I LOVE my mornings with my little man. He is so cheerful and awake but still groggy enough to let me hold him and rub his back for awhile. I love that part. He loves when I change his diaper/clothes in the morning. He starts cooing and blowing bubbles and kicking his feet like crazy. We sing songs and read books and listen to K-Love on the radio. He goes down for a nap and I can do the dishes or laundry, take my time fixing breakfast and relax a little bit before the day truly starts. *sigh* I had lots of trouble sleeping last night, thinking about everything I need to do to get B2 ready for the babysitter and myself ready for work. I have a feeling tonight is going to be worse. I may need to take Tylenol PM at 8:00 tonight. I feel really sad but I also know that there is still hope for me to stay home in the future and that makes me feel a little better. I was reading a mommy blog the other day and she posted the lyrics to an old hymn that I hadn't heard in a long time. Now, whenever I feel sad, I sing these words to myself:
Jesus, Jesus, how I trust Him!
How I've proved Him o'er and o'er;
Jesus, Jesus, precious Jesus!
Oh, for grace to trust Him more!
I can already see God working through this situation. Brian and I have communicated about finances and the future more than we probably ever have and I have had to test my trust in God to know that He will take care us. So, I will not worry. I may cry but I won't worry.
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